Webbready

The following “excerpt” from the journal I kept during my trip to London in 2000 is actually a rather long entry. This was my entry following my visit to the Millennium Dome. I have kept all grammatical and spelling errors in tact.

January 18, 2008

If yesterday was the zenith of my trip, today must be considered one of the lowest valleys ever. The destination for today was the Millennium Dome, a place spoken against so harshly that it was nearly impossible to arrive there looking forward to what was to come. After catching the Tube to Waterloo we boarded a boat and were on our way to the Millennium Dome, or at least we believed.

The boat was nearly empty except for our group and a few other passengers, but it appeared we were headed for the Dome. While on the river, we passed many of the places that we had visited and also seen on top of St. Paul’s. Going by these sites in a slow, comfortable manner was much preferrable to a long, walking tour. I wish all the commentary that had been made on the streets were repeated for us while we passed the landmarks. That way I would remember more of the words that were spoken.

Everything seemed to be going as smooth and slow as molasses when our boat slowed down and approached another docked boat on the river. The passengers were told to leave our present boat for the docked one which would take us to the Dome. We transferred boats, finding the new boat a little more pleasant. After the boat began its journey, everything was fine except for one little thing. The boat was going the wrong way!

I had believed I was hallucinating at first, but after asking others if what they saw was the same as what I’d seen, I began to worry, but the captain’s words soon turned my worry into frustration. We were indeed headed in the direction from which we just came, and we had to enter another boat after this one. This journey already ranked low on my list, and these actions solidified its position.

It took us several minutes — I should write “many” minutes to get to the Millennium Dome. Yet once we exited the boat the journey was not yet completed. The scramble for tickets began, although for us it was less a scramble and more of a cold wait in the wind. At the same time we arrived a large group of very rowdy school boys also entered the dome. Only when it seemed we could wait no longer did we eventually enter the Dome, and I honestly hoped it would not be as bad as everyone expected.

The first area I visited was the Play area, and as expected was an area geared for children. There were two notable exceptions here, both of them being among the most fun of all the Dome. One was a piano that could be played using a trackball and a button which when pressed down would hit a note. I was only able to play “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”, as I have little to no musical ability. The other wonderful attraction was a maze with a ball in it and to move the maze (thus moving the ball) one had to use one’s feet. It was truly enjoyable, even if on a basic level.

However, most of the attractions in this area (and I was soon to find out this applied to the entire Dome as well) were geared to those of a younger age than I. Since there were more older people than children at the dome, this was a problem, especially with one of the main attractions, “Cats and Dogs.” The workers were begging (and I mean that literally) people to play this game and being the weak-willed person I am, I fell into the trap. Needless to say, this “most interactive game” turned out to be a group version of the ancient video game Pong…”Cats and Dogs” was the exact same thing, except the people were divided into teams. Using wands that directed the movement of the paddle, as a group we had to prevent a dog (which is the “ball” in Pong) from eating our cats. Once the dog hit the edge of either screen, one of our cats (our “lives”) was picked off. This game of course, continued until one side was out of cats. Since the side I was on had fewer people who were enthusiastic about the game, our side lost…

Next I visited “Work & Learning,” two exhibits that were connected. “Work” was quite boring at first, although the giant personal electronic notepads cause a laugh from me….After this came “Learning”…I went into a place with a set of trackballs and screens underneath us. Half of the screens were frozen, though. Then I was invited to surf a page where children had posted their assignments on the Web, but as I was confirmed to one site and I reached a dead end. I tried to use keyboard shortcuts to go back, but it did not work, so I left the area.

“Body” was the next exhibit to visit, but before I could get there, two workers informed me I had a ticket to see the “Millennium Show.” They urged me to go and once again I fell into another trap of spending forty-five minutes looking at the most useless activity I had ever seen. The actual performance of the dancers was was quite good, but I seriously believe whoever planned and/or created this show was either insane or under the influence of some unknown force…There was one good thing about the gaudy colors and the incredible acrobatics of this performance — I found the perfect name for the Millennium Dome — a circus.

After this, I went into “Body,” which truly reminded me of an exhibit at the Carnegie Science Center devoid of science. Perhaps the most memorable portion was a short video of sperm travelling to an egg. It reminded me of a remake of the film, “Look Who’s Talking,” but was certainly more exciting than the giant heart or the enormous eye.

By this time, it was quite past lunchtime and I searched for something to eat, I decided to go to “Pizza & Pasta” a place neither terrible nor astounding. Eating my meal very slowly, I was saddened to find even my pizza had the “cheeze” of the dome embedded in its flavor. I then walked over to the Internet cafe, quickly checked my e-mail, picked out a few presents, then met at the rendezvous point. At last we were able to go, or so we thought.

Fate would not be so kind to the group and our departure was delayed a half an hour. Seeing there was nothing to do, I returned to the “Play” area. Once again, I had the opportunity to play the piano and if I had the time, I believed I could have played a recognizable rendition of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” I had neither the time nor the motivation, and it seemed the few people who remained were apathetic as well. In fact, two of the workers, probably on a break, were playing one of the games meant for the children. Still they were prisoners until their shift was over; we would be free in only a few minutes.

After this I met with the group and we boarded the boat home. I was sleepy and took a short nap on the boat, which gently rocked me to sleep. I woke up a few minutes before we departed from the cozy, aquatic transport and reflected upon what I had seen. The Millennium Dome…is a wonderful place to take children and older people who would like to do something different. However, it is much like “Fantasia” without the music — a beautiful piece of work that is impressive, but means absolutely nothing.